This Might Hurt

Since I became a Christian, I have always had a close relationship with God. He saved me as a teenager and guided me until I completely surrendered my life to him. Yet, when I am with other Christians that have grown up in strong Christian households I feel intimidated, I feel judged. I feel like I don’t belong, but I am just there. This is probably only me putting this feeling on, but it is something that I am always aware of. There’s a look on their faces they get when they hear I grew up in a broken home. My question is why? If Jesus came for everyone doesn’t that include the broken, messy and lost.

We recently binged watched The Chosen. If you haven’t watched that show, get the app and watch it. What stuck out to me is how Jesus went to the broken, messy and lost and he healed them. He didn’t shy away or avoid them. I catch myself wanting my kids to only surround themselves with Christians, but then it is only for a split second. I think of the people in my life when I was a teenager that chose to come to me and be my friend. I went to a Christian college and my friends there greatly shaped my life. They didn’t judge me or shy away from me because I was messy, they surrounded me and pointed me to Jesus. Why is it that adults in church can have a hard time doing this?

I think of a specific church we went to once that made me so uncomfortable with how perfect they seemed to appear. When someone messy came in they avoided them. If you dressed the part they would speak to you, but if you didn’t look the right way, it was obvious you were not welcome. Why do we do that as adults? If that is the way my peers would’ve treated me, would I truly be as sold out for Jesus as I am? Sometimes, we need to be uncomfortable in order to reach others. We gave our hearts to that church, I was uncomfortable almost every Sunday, yet I feel like we made no difference. Is that why we, as adults, have quit trying? We have quit going to the unreached, the messy, broken and lost to maintain our state of comfortable. It is hard, that’s an understatement. It can be spirit-breaking. It was at that church that I was at my lowest spiritually, I was broken.

This past Sunday during worship we sang “Jesus Loves Me”. There is a girl that can’t speak but really just makes sounds. We were sitting on the opposite side of the church and during that song I heard her voice over everyone else. I couldn’t help but look at her as she signed the song and “sang” at the top of her lungs. She knew the song, she knew what she was singing and she had no inhibitions. Watching her I saw Jesus. I saw why he came, who he came for and how we should praise and worship him with our entire hearts, with no inhibitions.

I realize this post is raw, it might hurt you, please know that is not my intentions. I am merely trying to speak what is on my heart. Let today be the day you sing “Jesus Loves Me” at the top of your lungs with no inhibitions. Love people with your whole heart the way that Jesus came for the lost, the broken and the messy. A prayer I often pray is that God gives me eyes to see others as He sees them. What I teach my children is to be kind to those that are different from you, you never know how God might use you to change their life. Get messy today, so that someone else can become clean.